Seriously. Even Beyonce Knowles. I don’t know this from firsthand experience or for a fact. But I’m willing to assume that she passes some stank ass gas now and again. You know why? Because she’s fucking human!
We all have insecurities. And we all do the same thing when it comes to thinking about other people besides ourselves and that’s this: We see people in our lives through the lens of our own perception of them. We make assumptions about their life, their lifestyle, their level of financial security and happiness based upon what they permit us to see. Ever see someone who looks to you like she has the perfect life, got it all goin’ on? The most expensive car, the perfect hair and the best clothes, a fabulously happy marriage, well behaved, brilliant children? And based upon your barely-scratched-the-surface-of–reality observations, you start comparing yourself to her? And then, decide you don’t measure up, aren’t anything like her, maybe even become intimidated? Or worse, begin to feel badly about yourself?
This is fucking crazy. But we all do it. It creates insecurity, even anxiety. Truth is, nobody truly knows what’s really going on in anyone’s life, behind closed doors, if they are truly happy in their marriage, or if they hate their job, or if they are struggling with their self-esteem. We worry about what other people think of us, whether they like us, or whether they will judge us for whatever flaws they might see in us.
Have you seen the movie “Bad Moms” with Christina Applegate, who plays Gwendolyn James, and Mila Kunis, who plays Amy Mitchell? Christina Applegate’s character potrays the “perfect Mom” with the perfect life. But it isn’t until she loses the PTA election to Kunis’ character that we all get to see what’s truly going on in Gwendolyn’s life: she’s addicted to painkillers, her husband just got arrested for embezzlement, her DVR doesn’t work for some unknown reason and her brother in law may have just joined ISIS. Her life is far from perfect but no one knew anything other than what she let us see.
I see this now, in my line of work, all the time. Every single day. Women are consumed with fear about what other people are going to think of them if they say this or do that. In fact, they are anxious and concerned, that they literally cannot bring themselves to do the actions it takes to work in the direct sales channel and invite people to learn more about their business or their products. “I don’t want to be seem pushy” or “I’m afraid of what people will say behind my back” or “I don’t want people to judge me”. We get in the way of our own dreams, plans, goals and success because of what we think might happen or how someone might react. We put people ahead of ourselves because of a possible future perception of us and create a false narrative in our heads. It’s enough. We have got to stop this. We can’t do this to ourselves. Why can’t we realize we know next to nothing about the other person, other than the facade they allow us to see, and then we actually fret and consume ourselves with what that person may think of us? Of our actions? Of our dreams?
WE MUST STOP PROJECTING OUR FEAR, THEN USING OUR FALSE NARRATIVE TO CONFIRM OUR FEAR AND NOT PURSUE OUR DREAMS.
The truth is, that no one is perfect. Everyone is flawed. Everyone passes gas. We want to seem like we have it “all together” and “all figured out”, that everything is good and we literally live every moment as if it were that perfect instagram picture. We show each other how wonderful we are and marvelous life is by take pictures posting on social media. But that is not reality. The truth is that we are all just figuring it out, that no one is perfect that we are all weird in our own way, and sometimes gross.
Sister, there is zero legitimate reason to compare yourself to anyone except to the person you were last week, or last month…strive to be the best YOU that you can be. There is no useful purpose in allowing yourself to feel intimidated, or worried, or fearful of what anyone thinks about you. You report only to yourself. So just remember, when you catch yourself doing this crazy making you are doing to yourself… remember that everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time, just like you. That Miss Stank Ass puts her expensive, hot AF Jimmy Choos on one perfectly pedicure -but-look-closely-yes-she-has-callouses foot at a time, just like you!